The saga of nonpayment continues. So, I hired an attorney. The one Senior Douche Bag once stated that he hated. I don't if hates him because I share an attorney with one of his exwives. I don't care, if someone says that they hate a particular attorney, that a sure sign you should hire him.
So, I plan to sue the guy. I plan to sue the actual owners of the company since SDB didn't actually invest anything in "his" company. I believe the owners are a friend and his mom. Yeah, if I find out that this guys mom is a "silent investor" I'll sue her also. I know that sounds bitchy, but he's had no qualms putting me in a bad spot financially, I am more than happy to return the favor.
So, now, I don't have to worry about him or his little paper. I'm paying somebody to do the worrying for me. Now, where's my beer.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Sunday, July 1, 2007
I'm Scared
So, this guy that owes me 20 grand. He's made one payment of $500. That's it. I tried to be nice and let him have time to get money together to make the payment that was due. That didn't work so well. Now I'm contacting him. He doesn't answer the phone, so everything goes to voice mail.
So he called me Friday and left a voice mail asking me not to contact him directly about the matter. Some vague statement about this being courtesy call and someone would be contacting me about defamation and liable. He should save the attorney fees and filing fees and just send me the money. I've told him that all he has to do to keep me quiet is to make the payments.
I spoke with his next ex. She claims that the guy told her that SDB (Senior Douche Bab) and I never had anything going. Well, first of all, I spent several nights a week at his place. She claims that he stated that I just had a crush on him. The sad thing is, on some level I thought he really cared for me. I won't say that he loved me. Be I thought he actually cared.
The reason I'm scared has nothing to do with threats of law suits. It has everything to do with utility roulette. I have a decent job. I make good money, but SDB has half my annual income tied up in credit card debt. So, being that I am taking care of myself, I went out and got a couple of other jobs.
It still sucks, thinking that two days after payday and there's less than $10 in my checking account. Good thing I'm anorexic. Makes saving on food easy. It's kind of scary thinking that things are going to be this way for a long time. Or until somebody mans up and does the right thing.
So he called me Friday and left a voice mail asking me not to contact him directly about the matter. Some vague statement about this being courtesy call and someone would be contacting me about defamation and liable. He should save the attorney fees and filing fees and just send me the money. I've told him that all he has to do to keep me quiet is to make the payments.
I spoke with his next ex. She claims that the guy told her that SDB (Senior Douche Bab) and I never had anything going. Well, first of all, I spent several nights a week at his place. She claims that he stated that I just had a crush on him. The sad thing is, on some level I thought he really cared for me. I won't say that he loved me. Be I thought he actually cared.
The reason I'm scared has nothing to do with threats of law suits. It has everything to do with utility roulette. I have a decent job. I make good money, but SDB has half my annual income tied up in credit card debt. So, being that I am taking care of myself, I went out and got a couple of other jobs.
It still sucks, thinking that two days after payday and there's less than $10 in my checking account. Good thing I'm anorexic. Makes saving on food easy. It's kind of scary thinking that things are going to be this way for a long time. Or until somebody mans up and does the right thing.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Daddy Issues
I know a lot of people love their Daddy. My daddy, not so much. It wasn't that he was a bad father, he was a drunk. He tried many times to work the twelve steps of AA. He would get soberish and not drink for a few years and think that everything was fine. And he would start drinking again. The experts are right about somethings. Everytime he would resume drinking, it was like the interveining sobriety never really happened. It made holding down a job pretty difficult.
With new jobs, came new houses(home is still a place I've yet to find) and new schools and new freinds. I never really learned to make freinds, because by the time I had a freind or two, we would move. Sometimes across town, sometimes across the state. To this day, I still have trouble making and keeping freinds. I try so hard not to make anyone angry, becasue I'm affraid that they won't like me. I always felt like I was on trial with my freinds.
I am getting better. It seems like I am picking better freinds here lately. The freinds I have now understand that "no" means "no" they understand that while I love and appreciate them, I often have other things I have to take care of. They also understand that I have different groups of friends. I guess this is what most peopel learn in their late teens and twenties. I got a late start.
I also was ashamed of my father. He was pretty weird outside of the drinking. Later in life, he started to cross dress. For a introverted teenager, it was too much too handle. I watched as my siblings treated him like nothing was out of place. I judged him. I thought he was weird. I thought he was crazy. At times, I thought he might be gay. I couldn't wait to get out of the house. The funny thing, he always loved sports. We could always talk about sports comfortably.
I realize now that my problems with my father were really mine. My siblings did not have the trouble accepting my father for who he was. I guess since I could not accept him as he was, no one would eer accept me as I was. Judgement is harsh and harms the judge as much as the one being judged.
As soon as I graduated, I shipped off to basic training. If I could survive thirteen weeks in basic, I would be a Marine. I had this vision that once I was a Marine, no one would be able to hurt me again. I would find that strangth that I thought I was missing. I would find someone that would take care of me, because the Marines ws full of men.
I survived basic and I was a Marine. I had the uniform. I spoke the language. I was tough. I was disaplined. Then I arrived in the fleet. Nothing like being the FMF to realize that Marines are just a microcosm of society as a whole. There are good honest Marines. There are Marines that are total douche bags. There were generous Marines, scamming Marines. Marines were people and poeple sometimes suck.
While I was sationed at Camp Pendleton, I was allowed to drink on base. And drink I did. And I fell in love. About once a week or so. Sometimes I could manage a couple of months, but I never seemed to be good enough.
I understand now, that I never really loved or was loved. It was a physically thing that brought me a momentary connection with someone. I always thought that I could find someone just for me. I don't know if I had approached these realtionships sober or actually dated and worked at them instead of just sleeping around things would have been different. Most likely not, becasue the men I was using were just as commitment phobic as I was at the time.
With new jobs, came new houses(home is still a place I've yet to find) and new schools and new freinds. I never really learned to make freinds, because by the time I had a freind or two, we would move. Sometimes across town, sometimes across the state. To this day, I still have trouble making and keeping freinds. I try so hard not to make anyone angry, becasue I'm affraid that they won't like me. I always felt like I was on trial with my freinds.
I am getting better. It seems like I am picking better freinds here lately. The freinds I have now understand that "no" means "no" they understand that while I love and appreciate them, I often have other things I have to take care of. They also understand that I have different groups of friends. I guess this is what most peopel learn in their late teens and twenties. I got a late start.
I also was ashamed of my father. He was pretty weird outside of the drinking. Later in life, he started to cross dress. For a introverted teenager, it was too much too handle. I watched as my siblings treated him like nothing was out of place. I judged him. I thought he was weird. I thought he was crazy. At times, I thought he might be gay. I couldn't wait to get out of the house. The funny thing, he always loved sports. We could always talk about sports comfortably.
I realize now that my problems with my father were really mine. My siblings did not have the trouble accepting my father for who he was. I guess since I could not accept him as he was, no one would eer accept me as I was. Judgement is harsh and harms the judge as much as the one being judged.
As soon as I graduated, I shipped off to basic training. If I could survive thirteen weeks in basic, I would be a Marine. I had this vision that once I was a Marine, no one would be able to hurt me again. I would find that strangth that I thought I was missing. I would find someone that would take care of me, because the Marines ws full of men.
I survived basic and I was a Marine. I had the uniform. I spoke the language. I was tough. I was disaplined. Then I arrived in the fleet. Nothing like being the FMF to realize that Marines are just a microcosm of society as a whole. There are good honest Marines. There are Marines that are total douche bags. There were generous Marines, scamming Marines. Marines were people and poeple sometimes suck.
While I was sationed at Camp Pendleton, I was allowed to drink on base. And drink I did. And I fell in love. About once a week or so. Sometimes I could manage a couple of months, but I never seemed to be good enough.
I understand now, that I never really loved or was loved. It was a physically thing that brought me a momentary connection with someone. I always thought that I could find someone just for me. I don't know if I had approached these realtionships sober or actually dated and worked at them instead of just sleeping around things would have been different. Most likely not, becasue the men I was using were just as commitment phobic as I was at the time.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
You know how they say hindsight is 20/20? Well, I think they're right. All the signs were there that this guy was a total user and jerk. But, he got to me when I was in a bad spot. My daughter had moved in with her father. I had been spending all my time working. I thought I was ready to date. Guess I was wrong.
My first sign should have been that he didn't drink. Not that that there's anything wrong with not drinking, but having come from a background of alcoholics, I should
have known better than to get involved with someone supposedly in recovery.
But hey, my best freind wouldn't introduce me to a guy that wasn't cool.
So, we all have dinner. We go see a movie. We chat a little. He tried to take me home, but my buddy and her husband said no. I was a little(ok very) drunk, so my judgment was a little impaired. ANd I had to get to work in a few hours.
I figured I had made a bad impression since he didn't call the next week. He "lost" my number. (Looking back now, this was probably the first in a long list of lies) When he finally did call, he said that he woulddn't mind seeing me again, but he had alot of work to do to get his little paper published.
More later
have known better than to get involved with someone supposedly in recovery.
But hey, my best freind wouldn't introduce me to a guy that wasn't cool.
So, we all have dinner. We go see a movie. We chat a little. He tried to take me home, but my buddy and her husband said no. I was a little(ok very) drunk, so my judgment was a little impaired. ANd I had to get to work in a few hours.
I figured I had made a bad impression since he didn't call the next week. He "lost" my number. (Looking back now, this was probably the first in a long list of lies) When he finally did call, he said that he woulddn't mind seeing me again, but he had alot of work to do to get his little paper published.
More later
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Crazy is Over, I'm angry
So, the last guy I dated brought out all my demons. My issues with my alcoholic father. My issues with sexual abuse. My issues with devaluation and codependancy. My issues with valuing others and their happiness over my own concerns. Hopefully I've come out of all this stronger.
I valued his dreams and happiness to the tune of $20,000. That's right, I'm a big dumb ass. Now that I've regained what little remains of my sanity, I am fucking pissed. He lied, he cheated, he deceived, and now, he's getting sued.
I valued his dreams and happiness to the tune of $20,000. That's right, I'm a big dumb ass. Now that I've regained what little remains of my sanity, I am fucking pissed. He lied, he cheated, he deceived, and now, he's getting sued.
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